2 years parted

It's been a while since i last write. Well, enjoying a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy night and suddenly a warm thing runs on my cheek. It's been a while, since i last think of him, since i last cry for him.

a light that never goes out

being able to love is the greatest feeling ive ever feel or actually felt. ah! such a young and foolish kid i was. i just love the song of The Smiths, There Is A Light That Never Goes Out. There's a phrase that really caught my attention till today, "to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die". i guess people wont really care if they die as long as they know that they have someone that loves and waits for them. love is actually a light as no matter how hard or dark your life journey will be, when you have love, at the end of the day it will feel like you found the light at the end of the tunnel.

i envy those lucky bastards! i envy how easy they found their love.

a year and four months.

the most painful i might say. it's not that i havent moved on yet. i have moved on, it's just that i couldnt even find a guy that is quite like him; even a bit. no one ever gets me like he does, no one ever treats me like he does. maybe i just keep looking for such guy; him to be specific. maybe i should just give the time a chance to heal everything.

strange heart of mine

feel wasted. argh! i just hate this feeling. who doesnt?

love is just a word to describe feelings inside but none being taken seriously. infatuation? yes, i am in that phase. god! why couldn't people be true about everything? it hurts to know the truth that you don't expect. thinking of what would it be like in future, i see nothing. just a dream, more likely a nightmare.

a devil in disguise. the perfect words to describe you.

exam

im so dead! will be sitting for the first exam in degree year in few days, when i say few days it means in two days!!!

havent started anything. none effort being made. GOD! the exam mode has been turned on since two days ago but the laziness got its way around somehow. argh! how am i suppose to pass my friggin' exam?!

anyhow, im soo jealous with my seniors as theyve finished their exam. need.to.study.but.im.too.lazy!

mere wish

all those girls make me jealous. of their beauty, brain, and behaviours.

all i want to be like one of them. like her. i envy her. well, the way i see it, she's perfect. but as usual, no one is perfect. cliche much. well, she got brain. when i say brain, it means she's sharp! beautiful inside out. slim and slender, flawless, fair, manners and courtesy is no exception.

ah! a wish will remain as a dream, a dream will remain as a fantasy, and a fantasy will only remain as a tale.

damnation occurs

speechless you might say. want to scream out loud. cursing and swearing are the only thing i do, besides typing my new post.

ive left my laptop for almost a month; untouched, unopened. today is the first day of opening it for the sake of my classmates. wanting all the slides ive made due to the upcoming exam and everybody is searching for notes to read. okay, so here it comes, the story. searching for all the slides like a mad scientist. result, zero. i then search for all the work that ive done for this semester; assignments, notes, slides, everything about this semester's works. the result, again, ZERO!

in disbelieve, i still search for it. every files being open and close and open and close and open and close. the result is still the same. opening all my pendrives, aokieux and croco. NOTHING. two of my external hardisks then, still, NOTHING.

argh! i want to cry out loud! forgodsake! all my work, hard-work. well, last minute hard-work! im just not in my good mood. not even close to it! argh, it all happens at the same time. it's just too  much for me to take. GOD! just give me a break!

weird that way

torturing the tormented heart is one of my specialties. 

i dont know why but it seems like they got their own songs. whenever i know a guy, no matter he was my 'guy' or just a friend, my mind tend to play a song that suits that particular guy or that particular time or even worse, a few songs and even an album. i know, it sounds funny or weird. but not to me, i do that. 

so basically, those songs are my favourites, those songs will always be in my playlist. and when they're just another story of my past, those songs will eventually remind me of them. one by one. those memories will flow like rolls of film.

argh! i just hate the way my mind takes a note of someone's existence in my life. it's like im torturing myself and i just hate that fact!

grown up perhaps?

God! how funny i felt when i read all those posts ive posted. my language, a total disaster of course. the way i write it, it sounded funny. glad to know ive changed that much, in a better sense.

i'm done with you~

well, love is a greatest treasure of all. but it isn't when you're in a heartbroken phase. you see, when you first met a man. the world starts to colour and you'll keep thinking that he's "THE ONE". thinking about him makes your world stop spinning, your heart stop beating, and you just can't stop smiling.

the reason that there's a space in your life is for the one to colour it,

the reason that there's a space in your heart is for the one to invade it,

and the reason that there's a space in your mind is for the one to fill it.

so, dust off and start to find yours. don't waste your time with the wrong one but the ONE instead.

dull life~

if you keep living, good things will eventually come. nothing will happen without a reason. so buckle up and live your life. no matter what happened, don't ever give up. just dust it off, get up and never let up.

new year, new life.

been there for one year and a half now and i'm in degree year. everything happened so fast that i could barely recall it. lost and made some friends, lost and gain some weight, found and lost loved ones. guess new place wouldn't be fun if there isn't any challenges. hope for a wholesome fantabulous life as it is new life for new year. it will always be said but i wouldn't be one if you don't try to make it one.