it'll never be~

'sometimes i wish i could live in books, where people mean what they say and happy endings exist', it plays in my mind like zillion times and i really wish it. everybody does want it badly, like really badly. but, living in book or fairy tales with this word, 'they live happily ever after' in it to me seems like living with fast forward button being pushed.

it's true! in a second they're in love, in a minute they are kissing, in a day they're madly in love, in a week they're married and in a year they're a family with kids. it seems fun to have a life without problems or barely had problems in it and live in happy endings, but it's not fun when you think about it again.

problems really colour our life, hard times really burden us but it gives satisfaction when the hard times bring us the good time of it. and life doesn't mean a thing when everything are so perfect and your ending is super fast.

life in fairy tales or book are really short than you can imagine. you can finished it like in a minute, a day, a week or at least a month. but yours aren't one of it. you can never finished telling your life story at anybody because it consist your life time in it.

*okay, i don't know why did i say this but i've watch happy endings like hundreds of it today.

what a day~

'i fall, i cry and i'll get up', that words always lingering in my mind. grieving for our failure and rise again as a new man, heart filled with experience of life and mind filled with words of wisdom. again, i failed and i rise up from my downfall. it never fade my spirit to live up again, to feel the freedom of being alone. the feel of being free like a bird soaring high up in the spacious blue sky without any boundary; unlike a coin-operated toy that caged in a framework.

i'm tired of living in a fantasy, a dream world that i'll never achieve. it's not a crime to dream and dreams are free therapy. but dreams are slippery thing, dreams are like stars, dreams are like grabbing shadows, dreams are like living in space without any help of oxygen. i used to dream a lot, no kidding. but as i started to become more mature in life, i realise that dreams just obscuring us with its happily-ever-after ending.

the naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie; lies are part of life where people use to cover up their mistakes or guilt. lies are easy to utter but it's hard to maintain. 'once you enter the world of lies, you can never turn back', that kind of words normally i'll heard from the elders. lies will make us live in denial of what we do and even what we think. but, the person who believe in lies is much more tormented than the liar. the man believed in it and trust it, but if he knew that it's all just a lie, you can imagine how frustrated and disappointed he is.


*sorry for the damn weird post.
just type it without thinking.